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Parenting Press®Welcome to the August 2008
“News for Parents”
This electronic newsletter has dozens of ideas that we at Parenting Press hope you’ll find helpful and interesting. To suggest a story topic or to comment on article content or format, please use the link after each article; we welcome your feedback.
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If you write for a newspaper or school, extension, or child care newsletter, you’re welcome to excerpt or reprint our information, as long as you credit us and send us a copy. Advance copies of selected stories from next month’s issue (see “Coming Attractions”) are available the last week of this month for excerpts in print publications. Email our media contact.
IN THIS ISSUE
- WHAT’S NEW?
- FEATURES
- POTPOURRI
- COMING ATTRACTIONS
- National Grandparents Day Sept. 7
- Quick Costume Ideas
- Make SATs Spell C-A-S-H
I. WHAT’S NEW?
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Organize Moms and Dads into MOKs, FOF, POS and Such
“Get Kids Ready for Reading,” says one newspaper headline, and “Secrets for Success in Middle School” reads another. This time of year, there’s lots of information for children making a school transition: from preschool to kindergarten, from elementary to middle school, to high school or off to college.
But what about their parents? Where are the support groups for “Mothers of Kindergartners,” “Fathers of Freshmen” or “Parents of Seniors?” How do we adults who are also making these transitions network with the parents who have “been there, done that, survived?”
A few schools have formal means of facilitating communication between parents, and between parents and administration. There are “welcome” coffee hours for new parents, online and paper newsletters, and the traditional parent-teacher associations. Booster groups for music and sports activities also help the mothers and fathers of new students. Some colleges have parent associations that clue in families and provide support when kids are far away and don’t write or call as often as parents would like.
In large schools, or when families have very different values and aspirations, these may not be enough. That’s why we’re suggesting you think about what else you can organize. This might be as simple as a coffee hour for everyone in your car pool with an equal number of neighbors who have had a year or two of experience in the program you’re entering. It might be putting together a phone and e-mail contact list of nearby families with kids in the same orchestra or school sports team.
If you’re anxious about senior year and your child getting the college admission tests taken, the applications completed, and a wardrobe selected for interviews, ask the school counseling office if it can invite parents of recent grads (especially those who still have children in your school) to speak to Class of 2009 parents. Ask the counselors and other parents to help create an online calendar with deadlines, test dates, and scholarship workshops that you all can access. Or simply call up friends and acquaintances from your children’s activities over the years and ask if they want to share dessert and apprehensions.
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Understanding Autism
What is autism? How can you recognize it? How can you accept and adjust the diagnosis?
These are some of the questions that physician Roy Q. Sanders discusses in How to Talk to Parents about Autism (W.W. Norton).
Oriented to professionals, this new guide is a straightforward, attractively laid out book that makes a tough topic easier for all of us to read about. As Dr. Sanders points out in his introduction, data from the Centers for Disease Control suggest that one in every 150 children has some form of autism. Many children with a form of autism also have other disorders: Down syndrome, Fragile X syndrome, or another neurological or genetic disorder. Others will exhibit only the characteristics that are central to Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD):
- problems interacting socially
- difficulties with language
- fixations, often rigid or repetitive behavior
Dr. Sanders cautions professionals to not rush to label a child as autistic, even when parents are desperate for a diagnosis so that they feel they can begin treatment. He points out that even before a diagnosis is made, parents can begin researching resources and start therapy that addresses the symptoms, including speech and occupational therapy.
The American Psychiatric Association uses the term pervasive developmental disorders to describe the five types of autism:
Autistic disorder
First labeled in the early 1940s, this condition is characterized by the failure to attach to other people, sometimes even to family members and caregivers. Many do not speak. Those who do speak often refer to themselves in the third person: “Yes, he likes it. Will Mama reach it for him?”
One of the most important early interventions for all ASD, but especially this disorder, is speech and language therapy. With such therapy, says Dr. Sanders, children are more likely to be able to interact socially, moderate their fixations and develop important life skills.
Asperger’s Disorder
Usually seen only in boys and men, who have good language skills and at least average intellectual abilities, those with Asperger’s often want to connect socially (unlike children with autistic disorder), but say and do things which alienate others.
Because those with Asperger’s crave interaction with other people, Dr. Sanders advises help with social skills as soon as possible. Kids should participate in what social skill-trainng classes and programs are available and be involved in sports, clubs and youth groups. Parents should be prepared to facilitate social interaction. (Books that help children think through situations and role play interactions, such as Parenting Press’s Problem-Solving and Dealing with Feelings series can be especially helpful for home use.) How to Talk with Parents about Autism points out that adolescence is a particularly difficult period for those with Asperger’s.
Do kids grow out of Asperger’s? No, says Dr. Sanders. However, social skills training and a healthy adult identity can make life almost typical—and it perhaps even extraordinary. (He cautions that contrary to a common misconception, few with Asperger’s are geniuses. Most have normal intelligence, but know a great deal about a particular topic.)
Rett’s Disorder
Almost entirely an autistic disorder of girls, Rett’s always involves mental retardation. Although infants develop normally for the first several months of life, head growth slows between five and 48 months, the previous control of hands is lost, and the children quit interacting socially. It progresses through rapid deterioration, a plateau, and then muscle wasting and usually the loss of the ability to walk.
Childhood Disintegrative Disorder
This devastating problem begins with regression after at least two years of normal development. To quote Dr. Sanders, “By age 10, these children lose their skills in expressive or receptive language, socializing, bowel or bladder control, play and movement.” There is no known cause. There is no cure.
Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified
This is the diagnosis given to children or adults who display some of the symptoms of ASD but do not meet the criteria (including age of onset and number of symptoms) for any of the conditions already described. Dr. Sanders notes that this is actually the most common form of autism, with an incidence of 2.8 per 1,000.
With any form of autism, or any suspicion of autism, early intervention is important.
The better a child can communicate by age 5, the more optimistic the prognosis. Communication problems exacerbate other problems and make it difficult to address social issues or fixations. That’s why Dr. Sanders urges early intervention, even if a diagnosis is tentative. If a child between 12 and 18 months is not beginning to make eye contact and speak, or speaks oddly, the author recommends an evaluation by someone familiar with autism.
Speech therapy should start as soon as possible, preferably by age 2, and certainly by 3. At home, family members should use every opportunity to communicate nonverbally and verbally with autistic children. Adults and siblings should play with them, strive to make eye contact and get the children to communicate in socially appropriate ways.
What’s also important is that parents understand is that they did not cause the problem. Even abuse of substances or liquor while pregnant has not been tied to autism.
In How to Talk to Parents about Autism, Dr. Sanders provides easy-to-understand advice in every chapter. A few of his comments:
Behavioral interventions can be effective in controlling and eliminating problems; medications are generally not.
Working on communication skills will be a lifelong commitment. Even the very verbal Asperger’s patients will require guidance forever, because they often do not use language appropriately.
Parents should expect to become advocates for their children, working with (and even combatting) educators to obtain the appropriate help.
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Countdown to Classes
How many days left until school starts? Not enough, if you have lots of places to go, things to see—AND tasks to complete. To ensure you make the most of these last few days of summer, create a countdown calendar so you don’t forget anything.
Any calendar with large squares will do: you can fill each space with the events that are scheduled for the date, and then use Post-Its to add activities that aren’t date-specific, like school shoe shopping. Or glue a tiny pocket on each square and tuck in slips of paper with each day’s plans.
Your calendar’s too small for all the things you want and need to do? Make “flags” of each activity and glue them to straws which can be attached to a date’s square. Remind yourself of the dental visit with a tooth-shaped flag (or maybe skip the flag and use an old toothbrush). Glue a picture of a shoe to the straw so you all remember when to get “re-treaded.” Use a cut-out of the sun for your last trip to the beach.
II. FEATURES
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Tips for the month
Each Saturday, Parenting Press posts a new parenting tip and the previous week’s tip is moved to the archive. The topics planned for August are:
August 2 — Looking at Temper Tantrums with New Eyes
August 9 — Active Listening with a Completely Out-of-Control Child
August 16 — Late Summer Boredom Busters
August 23 — Young Children and Screen Time, Part I
August 30 — Young Children and Screen Time, Part II
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Family Fun Ideas — Hand Shadows and S’Mores
Spend some time together this month with two traditional low-tech activities: hand shadow “puppets” and that all-time favorite camp fire dessert, s’mores. As the days grow shorter, find a bare fence or wall where you can project your shadow creations: birds, horses, monkeys and even churches and pagodas. If you’re outside, all you really need is a flashlight or lantern. Inside, use the flashlight or switch on a lamp.
Start by letting everyone get familiar with the concept, and learning how to control their shadows. Each family member can “perform” alone, or you can have teams. If kids don’t get frightened easily, Mom or Dad can even surprise a young puppeter with a monster shadow that chases the kid’s creation!
For tips on making hand shadow puppets, see web sites such as Project Gutenberg. It offers a free download of Hand Shadows to Be Thrown upon the Wall by Henry Bursill, first published in 1859, and the basis for many hand shadow how-to books published more recently.
Whether or not you’re by a fire on Aug. 10, be sure you have a s’more for dessert—because that’s supposedly National S’mores Day!
Never made a s’more before? Toast a marshmallow and then squeeze it and a thin square of a chocolate bar between graham crackers. It’s gooey, it’s sugary. . .it’s an American tradition! (And if you’re not able to toast your marshmallows over an open fire, you can make the s’mores in an oven or microwave.)
Who invented s’mores? No one knows for sure, but the first recorded recipe for “Some mores” appears in a 1927 Girl Scout guide.
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Community Service — The Power of One
Our goal with this column is to suggest ways that you can model the concept of sharing and giving back to your community. There are other practical advantages to community service. Kids can use these projects to meet school or youth group requirements for community service and to start building resumes that they’ll use when applying for first jobs or college.
This month, with many of us busy with vacations and back-to-school preparations, here’s a simple concept to discuss with your family and implement in whatever way is most meaningful—and convenient—for you: the power of one. Imagine what could be accomplished:
In your neighborhood if each member of your family filled only one bag with litter on an afternoon walk
For your local food bank if each one of you carried in one lunch bag of canned goods
For your school library if each child on your block donated one paperback when school starts
With older children, here are three more suggestions:
How much can our family reduce its carbon footprint if we walk, bike or take the bus instead of drive at least once a day?
How much can we set aside for our favorite charity if we give up a treat—dessert, a latte or a fast-food lunch—one day a week?
How many people can we help if we each donate an hour a week to a tutoring program?
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Raise funds with a Parenting Press Book Fair
Would your school or group like a new fund-raiser?
For years Parenting Press has been offering its carefully written books on child guidance, problem-solving and dealing with feelings through preschool Book Fairs. Now our Book Fairs are being expanded to schools, churches, child-care programs, parenting groups—any organization that can use parenting and children’s books.
More information about our Book Fairs is posted online. You’ll find a copy of the brochure, an explanation of how much you can earn with a Book Fair, a step-by-step guide to make Book Fairs easy and fun to organize, and downloadable promotional materials.
III. POTPOURRI
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Special of the month — Stay Cyber Safe
As children return to school, there’s usually more time spent at family computers. For savvy parents, this may mean more concern about cyber safety. What you may not realize is that what adults do on the Internet can make a family as vulnerable as what kids do. For an overview of cyber safety and what both adults and kids need to know, Parenting Press has created a downloadable guide, Internet Safety and Your Family. This month, you can buy this book at ParentingPress.com for the introductory price of $4.99. That’s less than half the regular price!
To ensure you know how to avoid cyber bullies, spoofing and online stalkers, simply type “Cyber Safe” in the “promotional code” box on the ParentingPress.com order form or mention it when you phone in an order. This offer applies to orders received August 1-30, 2008. No other discounts apply.
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