September 16, 2006

Lots of Enrichment Activities: Good or Bad?

by Shari Steelsmith

Tip—Strike a healthy balance between enrichment activities and downtime at home.

Is your family over-committed? It happens easily. One big culprit is extra-curricular kid activities. It used to be a child would play a sport or perhaps play the piano. Nowadays it seems he plays one, maybe two sports per season, takes piano and belongs to boy scouts. If you have more than one child in the family, you can times that by two or three and you have a recipe for an over-committed family.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with playing sports, taking music or dance, or participating in scouts. Each of these activities are wonderful in fact, and enrich a child’s life tremendously. A compelling argument can be made for the value of every single activity, but when the schedule eliminates family meals, family together-time, or simply all available down-time, then there’s a problem.

Kids need enough unstructured time for creative pursuits to emerge and thrive. They need time to simply hang out at home and amuse themselves in non-electronic ways (ie., just about anything with screens). What I mean here are things like reading, drawing, building forts, playing with toys, making comic books and putting on puppet shows.

Sufficient time at home is also necessary for homework and chores. Helping around the house and yard are pretty much the only practical ways children have of contributing to the ongoing welfare of the family; it’s an important part of their development.

Tools—So what do you do when you realize that the extra-curricular activities have gotten out of hand? Or maybe you’re just wanting to evaluate and make sure the amount of time your kids spend away from home is reasonable and compatible with your values. It helps to do some prioritizing says psychologist Harriet Heath, Ph.D., and author of Using Your Values to Raise Your Child to Be an Adult You Admire. Heath points out that simply identifying values for your family isn’t enough. You must prioritize them and then integrate them into your parenting. If creativity is high on your list, then more time at home may be appropriate. If being physically active is high on your list, you will naturally lean more toward having your children in sports or other physical activities. When you sense an imbalance in your family life, Heath recommends the following process.

Step One

Describe the situation that needs attention. For example, “Between the three children, we have seven after-school activities per week. We rarely manage to eat dinner together. Saturdays are taken up with soccer games—sometimes more than one. We parents feel frazzled. The kids are all attached to their individual activities and teams, but often complain when a sibling’s activity requires them to go along. No one feels like they have enough leisure time at home.”

Brainstorm. Think of as many ideas as you can to solve or improve the problem. Write them all down, silly or serious, workable or not. Get input from all family members involved.

Make a plan using ideas that support your values. Pick a couple ideas that seem workable. For example, if your family values physical activity highly, you might choose to limit how many sports each child is allowed to play, but schedule family activities like hiking or biking instead. If creativity is a high value and your daughter is busy three afternoons with two dance classes and piano, you might require her to drop one of the dance classes.

Step Two

Carry out your plan. Put the plan into action and try it for a month or two.

Step Three

Reflect on your plan. Evaluate how well your plan is working. Are the adults feeling less stress? Are the children satisfied with the balance of activities and home time? Is the family managing to be together more? Share with your children your feelings about the family schedule and how it has supported the values you hold.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in Using Your Values to Raise Your Child to Be an Adult You Admire by Harriet Heath, Ph.D.

E-mail this page to a friend

	Parents	Parent Educators Counselors	Teachers	Media	Shopping Cart
	Home	Pre-Pub Club	Book Fairs	Gift Certificates	Catalog
Books by Topic New Books NEW! Feelings Child Guidance Problem Solving Development & Issues Temperament & Values Quick Help Kids’ Personal Safety Spanish Translations Other Resources Books by Author Books by Title Instant Help NEW! Qwik Books Qwik Sheets Special Services Book Fairs Pre-Pub Club Gift Certificates Our Catalog Parenting Resources Weekly Parenting Tips Downloadable Brochures Monthly E-Zine Parenting Quizzes Professional Resources PEP Talk Activity Plans Leader’s Guides About Parenting Press FAQs Mission and History What’s New NEW! Our Authors Manuscript Submissions Advisory Group Contact Us Subscribe to Newsletter	Parenting Press® September 16, 2006 Lots of Enrichment Activities: Good or Bad? by Shari Steelsmith Tip—Strike a healthy balance between enrichment activities and downtime at home. Is your family over-committed? It happens easily. One big culprit is extra-curricular kid activities. It used to be a child would play a sport or perhaps play the piano. Nowadays it seems he plays one, maybe two sports per season, takes piano and belongs to boy scouts. If you have more than one child in the family, you can times that by two or three and you have a recipe for an over-committed family. Don’t get me wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with playing sports, taking music or dance, or participating in scouts. Each of these activities are wonderful in fact, and enrich a child’s life tremendously. A compelling argument can be made for the value of every single activity, but when the schedule eliminates family meals, family together-time, or simply all available down-time, then there’s a problem. Kids need enough unstructured time for creative pursuits to emerge and thrive. They need time to simply hang out at home and amuse themselves in non-electronic ways (ie., just about anything with screens). What I mean here are things like reading, drawing, building forts, playing with toys, making comic books and putting on puppet shows. Sufficient time at home is also necessary for homework and chores. Helping around the house and yard are pretty much the only practical ways children have of contributing to the ongoing welfare of the family; it’s an important part of their development. Tools—So what do you do when you realize that the extra-curricular activities have gotten out of hand? Or maybe you’re just wanting to evaluate and make sure the amount of time your kids spend away from home is reasonable and compatible with your values. It helps to do some prioritizing says psychologist Harriet Heath, Ph.D., and author of Using Your Values to Raise Your Child to Be an Adult You Admire. Heath points out that simply identifying values for your family isn’t enough. You must prioritize them and then integrate them into your parenting. If creativity is high on your list, then more time at home may be appropriate. If being physically active is high on your list, you will naturally lean more toward having your children in sports or other physical activities. When you sense an imbalance in your family life, Heath recommends the following process. Step One Describe the situation that needs attention. For example, “Between the three children, we have seven after-school activities per week. We rarely manage to eat dinner together. Saturdays are taken up with soccer games—sometimes more than one. We parents feel frazzled. The kids are all attached to their individual activities and teams, but often complain when a sibling’s activity requires them to go along. No one feels like they have enough leisure time at home.” Brainstorm. Think of as many ideas as you can to solve or improve the problem. Write them all down, silly or serious, workable or not. Get input from all family members involved. Make a plan using ideas that support your values. Pick a couple ideas that seem workable. For example, if your family values physical activity highly, you might choose to limit how many sports each child is allowed to play, but schedule family activities like hiking or biking instead. If creativity is a high value and your daughter is busy three afternoons with two dance classes and piano, you might require her to drop one of the dance classes. Step Two Carry out your plan. Put the plan into action and try it for a month or two. Step Three Reflect on your plan. Evaluate how well your plan is working. Are the adults feeling less stress? Are the children satisfied with the balance of activities and home time? Is the family managing to be together more? Share with your children your feelings about the family schedule and how it has supported the values you hold. You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in Using Your Values to Raise Your Child to Be an Adult You Admire by Harriet Heath, Ph.D. E-mail this page to a friend
Home · Special Services · Parenting Resources · Professional Resources · Subscribe to Newsletter · Contact Us