Tip—Developing a work ethic and the habit of responsibility go hand in hand.

In general, children have very little idea of how much work it is to maintain a household, hold down a job, or manage a family. Our culture encourages raising children to be consumers—most of what they need is purchased for them, or they are given money to buy what they want. If you took your child into your office, would it be obvious to him what exactly it is you do as “work” all day? Probably not.

I read in a news article recently that the majority of teens today do not get part-time jobs to save for college or career training, but to simply earn money for discretionary purchases—such as clothes, music, or nicer cars. American parents tend to focus on requiring good grades and a certain level of participation and achievement in sports, the arts, or other hobbies while paying less attention to chores and cooperating as a family to get the household work done.

We are not doing our children a favor here. I realize that the vast majority of us no longer live on rural farms where families had to work together or they went hungry and had no money. Still, we’ve lost a convenient avenue through which children learned responsibility and a work ethic. If our children have no experience with household chores, being responsible for their own belongings, working together as a group for a common good—then we have ill-equipped them for life out there in the real world.

Parent educator Elizabeth Crary, author of Pick Up Your Socks . . . and Other Skills Growing Children Need!, comments that there are four general reasons parents require children to do household chores: to learn the housekeeping skills, to take some of the work load off parents, to contribute to the family, and to learn responsibility. She cautions parents that developing responsibility for household jobs takes a lot of time and that ability increases with age.

Tools—It seems like I always think more about what work skills my children have acquired (or not) at the start of the summer each year. School is out and life slows down a bit so that teaching certain life and work skills seems more possible. Crary lists some of the following common household chores to which children are expected to contribute:

• Taking care of clothes. This involves putting dirty clothes in the hamper, putting clean clothes away, and doing laundry (separating colors, operating the washing machine and dryer, folding clothes, and ironing). There are tasks within this category that are appropriate for the very youngest child (a three year old can put dirty clothes in a hamper and carry clean, folded clothes to his room) to the very oldest (teens can show a surprising talent for ironing).

• Cleaning. I know, it’s a big topic. Some of the obvious subcategories are: doing dishes, wiping spills, vacuuming, tidying rooms, dusting, making beds, and taking out the trash. Crary makes the point that with almost all chores, children learn them first working alongside you. Once they’ve learned the steps, they need reminding, supervision and support. Eventually, they become able to do the work alone without reminders. This process can take years and it’s still worth the effort on your part.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in Pick Up Your Socks . . . and Other Skills Growing Children Need! by Elizabeth Crary, M.S.

E-mail this page to a friend