Tip—Outbursts of adult anger are often the result of neglecting one’s own needs; this can be remedied.

Last week I shared an incident where I lost my temper with my husband and kids; this was partly due to not taking good enough care of myself. Therapists Jennifer Brown and Pam Provonsha Hopkins comment in their book, What Angry Kids Need, “Adults must often be very creative to find time to do the things for ourselves and our relationships that keep us healthy and happy.” They point out that most of us agree it’s a good idea to relax and recharge, but when push comes to shove, we treat it more as a luxury than a requirement. However, recent research shows that those of us who do take time to recharge actually get more done than those who don’t. “In other words,” write Brown and Hopkins, “people who regularly make time for self-care get more done in less time than those who doggedly keep pushing forward.”

Tools—Brown and Hopkins recommend penciling into your daily and weekly schedule smaller rejuvenation activities. These small steps can go a long way toward reducing your stress and helping you stay more calm and focused when life gets crazy.

Daily Self-Care Ideas

• The old-fashioned coffee break. Take 10 minutes in your day for some kind of warm refreshment: coffee, tea, cocoa, etc.
• 20 minutes of vigorous exercise.
• Read the newspaper, a book, or browse a favorite catalog for 20 minutes.
• Listen to music or an audio book.
• Meditate or pray.

Weekly Self-Care Ideas

• Take a long, leisurely bubble bath.
• Play sports.
• Work at a hobby or other creative pastime for an hour or so.
• Attend a spiritual service.
• Rent a movie and make popcorn.

Longer-term self-care might include taking a class in something you enjoy, taking a parents’ weekend away, joining a book club or other regular social activity.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in What Angry Kids Need: Parenting Your Angry Child Without Going Mad by Jennifer Anne Brown, M.S.W. and Pam Provonsha Hopkins, M.S.W.

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